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Blindsided in heels

“You know this is only physical right?”

Dating.
20 + years have passed but from the best I can tell, nothing has changed. Oh wait, yes it has. It is not just dating. It is on line dating.
Dating in general for me, when I was younger, was difficult. I didn’t do too much. That will be for another post.
Now, a single mom, older and the internet, I am supposed to date.
I have to say, I miss the days when you could meet people in person and it happens naturally.
A forced conversation, to see if there is a connection and if the checklist he has in his head makes me someone he would date, is not natural.
Regardless, So I dove in.
* Note: When I say, “DATE, “I actual mean DATE. Going out to dinner, seeing a movie, going to the beach. An actual date.

The first one- former body builder, divorce, serious, focused and disciplined. He told me after a few dates that I, “Needed to get with the program. I also needed to wear more skirts and flats”. Nothing makes a girl hotter than being told she need to “get with the program. “

The second one- Ask me to be his girlfriend on the second date.

The third one- Marketing VP, 3 kids, focused and driven. He told me after a few dates that I had “girlfriend potential.” I am sorry, I don’t audition.

The Fourth one- Tall, dark, handsome. I was like, “WOW!” After 2 months of endless nights of conversation, walking, the movies, a vodka tonic (or two) I was like, “Ok, let’s do this!” We agreed. We had connected on a higher level. We had a lot in common. He made me laugh. Sweet, polite, killer smile. All his own teeth and hair. Now, it was going to be a different kind of a date.
The night is here. I walk into the room. He is sitting on the chair work on the computer. I thought it was odd. I had a nervous excitement feeling in my stomach. But, everyone shows different emotions and feeling. I put my things down. We kiss. A lot. Your mind is going to wander, so I am just going to let it.
I turn some music on low and say,” I will be right back.” Then, 2 minutes later, I walked back into the room and he is sitting on the bed clicking the remote watching Star Wars.
“ Is everything ok?” I said.
He says, “Yes. Why did you turn on music?”
“What do we need that for? You know that this is only physical right?”
2 months, countless conversations, dinners, blah, blah, blah and this is physical?”
Don’t get me wrong, if he had said “This is only physical,” up front, it would have been better. I can make the choice from the beginning.

I grabbed my things and left.
Why put the time and energy into a “booty call?”

So… after driving in , I called the Coast Guard so I can take a break, sit in the boat , and watch the sunset with Me , Myself, and I. I will make it to shore … whenever.

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Staying with in the lines

1 Comment

  1. I love your blog so much…I’ve been following it from the beginning. My husband and I just got married, and we actually met online.

    Internet dating can definitely be difficult. People act differently behind a computer screen, and a lot of people use it as a place to get a booty call. You also have people who can talk the sweet talk, but in person, only have one thing on their mind.

    I, like you, never dated much. I only had a couple of boyfriends before I met my husband. Don’t be discouraged- online dating is only one way to meet someone. There’s always the chance you will meet someone organically.

    Please continue this blog. It’s raw and open, and beautiful.

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